A follower? I have a follower?? I had completely forgotten I set that up. On top of that, I'm not narcissistic enough to think that anyone - me included - would really like to get continuous updates on my day.
Examples of imaginary tweets for a day in the life of Jen:
- Got up this morning and made oatmeal for breakfast. It was good.
- Almost stepped in cat barf - it looked amazing like the oatmeal I just ate. Love those cats!
- Lather, rinse, repeat...
- Got to work early.
Sometimes wonderAM ALWAYS GRATEFUL that my carpooler doesn't kill us each time he drives. Anger management, all I'm saying.
- And a driver's safety course.
- Why do I ride in with a crazy driver? More knitting time, of course.
- Somebody had the WORST sour breath stinking up the coffee shop. Remember, if you can't brush your teeth, breath mints are your friend. And everyone around you as well.
- Oh, heavenly coffee!!! Coffee goooooooooooood....
- Had to spend 10 minuets digging out my badge while balancing an oversized purse, a box of items for the office, and a cup of scalding hot coffee.
- Got first stain of the day on my shirt. Goodie. Let's start the day out right.
- Noticed co-worker A * humming tunelessly. He plays drums in a band on the side, so don't really expect him to be able to carry a tune as long as he does it in beat.
- Co-worker B has music on hold playing loudly on his speaker phone. Music to coma by...
- Just realized that co-worker A is trying to hum along with the music on hold. HELP!
- Plugged in ipod and cranked it up.
- Later realized that co-worker B put the music on hold on his speaker phone and LEFT THE OFFICE. Dude...he thinks this is funny.
- Unplugged c/w B's phone.
- Tuneless humming from c/w A stopped. Nirvana!
- Went back to c/w B's cube and put in the top drawer of his desk upside-down, with all the stuff in it.
- Re-plugged phone back in & turned the speakerphone back to MoH.
- Listened to the sweet sounds of swearing coming from c/w B's cube when he opened his drawer.
- LUNCHTIME! Grilled cheese sandwich! Yum!
- Got back to desk and smelled something bad. Did I get cheese on me somewhere?
- Noticed a dirty gym sock (not mine) under my desk. Seriously gross...
- Waited until c/w B left his desk and tied used gym sock under the seat of his chair. Then left and washed my hands.
- C/W B seems to have the sniffles. Good luck finding your sock, buddy.
- Time to go home and experience white knuckle driving at it's best.
- Keep trying to stomp on the imaginary brake but it's not working!
- Home and safe at last!
Just as soon as I can remember how to get there.
* Names of co-workers have not been used to protect the innocent. Or me. They're both friends of mine as well as co-workers, anyway.